Before you commit to a deeper relationship, you need to make sure the person is truly the right fit for you. We all have certain things that would make us say “no” to a relationship, some we know about, and maybe some we discover along the way. While your list of “must-haves” or “deal-breakers” might not be the same as your friend’s, there are some common deal-breakers that many of us share.
Continue reading to discover ten common reasons that might make or break a relationship, helping you decide if it’s a keeper or time to move on.
Your partner has different desires than you.
In a long, happy, and healthy relationship, you both need to agree on your future together. For example, it can be a major issue if you want to live in the countryside, but they love the big city. According to Dr. Randi Gunter, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, if these differences are crucial to either partner and they ignore them, it can lead to problems over time. Resentment and disappointment can build up if you both dismiss these important desires. You shouldn’t have to give up your dreams; if something is non-negotiable for you, it might be time to end the relationship.
Your Partner Abuses You
Abuse in any form is a clear relationship deal-breaker. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical, verbal, or emotional abuse – you should never put up with it in a relationship if your partner has harmed you in any way, whether through violence or hurtful words meant to intimidate or belittle you, it’s time to end the relationship immediately. Your partner should be your friend and supporter, not someone who makes you afraid or hurt.
You’re Always Fighting With Each Other
Disagreements are normal in a relationship, but if you and your partner constantly yell and fight, that’s a serious issue. While you won’t always see eye to eye, it’s important to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Your relationship grows stronger when you can work together to overcome these challenges. However, if anger fills your days and you’re fed up with your partner most of the time, it’s time to end the relationship.
You Don’t Trust Your Partner
Trust between you and your partner is essential for a relationship to work. If you always worry that your partner might cheat on you, it creates doubt and uncertainty that can harm your connection. If you find yourself constantly questioning their honesty, this relationship may not be right for you. Trust is crucial for happiness and confidence in a relationship.
You’re Not Your Authentic Self
Are you pretending to be someone else when you’re with your partner? Do you hold back what you really want to say or do? If you’re faking who you are or hiding your true self in your relationship, it’s a sign that you should be in a relationship where you can be your authentic self. Your partner should love and accept the real you, not a version of you that you think they want.
You’re Not Appreciated
For a relationship to work in the long term, both people should feel like they matter to each other. But if your partner doesn’t appreciate you, takes you for granted, and doesn’t make an effort to prioritize you, it’s a sign that the relationship may not be right for you. You deserve someone who cares about you, values you, and appreciates everything you do.
Your Partner Has a History of Cheating
Trust is crucial for a healthy relationship. If your partner is cheating on you early in the relationship, it’s a sign that they have other priorities besides you. If this is happening within the first few months, it’s unlikely to improve over time. You deserve someone who is committed to you, so it’s better to move on and avoid unnecessary drama.
Your Partner Has a Different Stance on Children
This can be a complex issue. When you start a new relationship, you might not immediately discuss marriage and having children. But as you get closer, you’ll likely think about long-term plans, like having kids. Sometimes, one or both of you might initially be unsure about this. As you communicate and share your thoughts, your feelings may change. However, there are times when one partner wants kids while the other doesn’t, and this can be especially painful if you feel deeply connected. You might consider talking to a couples counselor to address any underlying issues. Unfortunately, your partner’s stance on having children may lead to the end of the relationship.
Your Partner Doesn’t Introduce You to Their Loved Ones
Initially, it’s okay if your partner hasn’t introduced you to their friends and family. But as your relationship grows, they should include you in their life. If they keep you hidden without a good reason, it’s essential to have an honest conversation. There might be family issues, but if there’s no valid excuse, consider finding someone who’s ready to embrace you fully.
You Deserve to Feel Special in Your Relationship
In any healthy relationship, feeling valued and appreciated is crucial. While relationships can become routine over time, you should never feel unimportant. If your partner rarely makes an effort to show appreciation or plan special moments, it’s essential to have an open conversation. This might help rekindle your connection or reveal issues that need addressing.
