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Keeping the Spark Alive: Tips for a Happy and Successful Long-Distance Marriage

If you find the idea of a long-distance marriage scary, you’re not alone. Being far from your partner can be one of the toughest challenges a couple faces. But here’s the truth: Many people unexpectedly end up in long-distance relationships. Life can be unpredictable, and part of choosing the right partner is being ready for unexpected challenges like distance. If you and your partner learn the right skills, you can make it work, no matter the distance.

So, what’s the secret to a successful long-distance marriage? Well, it starts with unwavering commitment – that’s the foundation. If you love your partner deeply and are determined to make the relationship work despite the physical separation, it’s entirely possible. It all boils down to effective communication, problem-solving skills, and a few other tricks.

Prioritize Communication

Tip number one is all about staying in touch and talking openly. In today’s world, thanks to technology, there’s no reason not to talk to your partner every day. While how often you chat may vary from couple to couple, try sending messages a few times a day to keep that feeling of closeness and normality. It’s important to feel connected, and messaging helps with that. Just remember that the way you communicate matters, too. Text messages, for instance, can sometimes be tricky to interpret, so be careful with your words when expressing strong emotions like excitement or frustration.

Don’t expect everything to be perfect in your long-distance communication. Sometimes, things might not come across as you intended. Be patient with your partner during these moments.

Put in the FaceTime

Certainly, having long phone calls, especially on FaceTime or Zoom, in the evening or after work is great. It gives you both a chance to talk about your day, maybe play games, share personal thoughts, and feel close before bedtime. Since you’re going to be apart most of the time, it’s a good idea to commit to video calls every single day. Dedicating quality time to your partner is crucial, not just a quick chat, but an hour or so. Just like we make time for a partner who’s nearby, we should also make time for a long-distance partner.

Don’t keep it inside if you’re not satisfied with how often you and your spouse talk. Tell them gently that you’re feeling a bit disconnected and that you’d like something to change for you to feel better and more supported. The more you talk openly about your own and shared issues, the closer you’ll become.

Make Time for Emotional Intimacy

Emotional closeness is crucial in a long-distance marriage. While it’s easy to stick to a texting and calling routine, connecting emotionally with your partner regularly is essential. This can involve having deep conversations, talking about your shared dreams, and asking them about their true feelings. Being a good listener is vital in these moments.

Prioritize Intimate Connection

Even though you might be miles apart, and it might not feel as natural as physical closeness, “maintaining a strong emotional connection” is of the utmost importance in a long-distance marriage, explains Barnett. Yes, it will take time for both partners to get into a groove—long-distance emotional connection takes practice!—but it’s vital to create space and speak to your partner about what you both desire in this department. Maybe plan to have a romantic video call each week—light candles, play soft music, wear something special, play a game—and make your emotional connection the priority.

Remember That You’re a Team

Everything in your long-distance marriage will feel a bit easier if you keep in mind that you and your spouse are a team. According to Barnett, if you communicate and solve problems as a team, you’ll be well on your way to maintaining a healthy relationship, even if you’re far apart. It won’t be without challenges; conflicts will come up, and you’ll both have tough days. However, approaching your relationship and conversations with this mindset will ultimately strengthen your connection, no matter the distance.

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