When you’re married, spending a significant amount of time with your spouse is perfectly natural and healthy. After all, you likely share a home with common friends, and, of course, you’re committed to each other as a married couple. Sharing hobbies and activities, whether they involve exercise, art, or music, can be a wonderful way to bond and connect. However, it’s equally important to maintain your own individual hobbies and interests within the marriage.
Having independence within a relationship is a crucial factor in ensuring its success. While spending quality time together is undoubtedly valuable, having your own unique interests and hobbies can actually contribute to making the relationship even healthier.
Now, let’s explore some of the benefits of maintaining personal hobbies in the context of a marriage:
Having Hobbies of Your Own Adds Excitement
If you and your spouse spend all your time together and do everything as a couple, things can get a bit dull. Having your own interests can bring some freshness into your relationship. Bronstein explains, “When a couple shares the exact same interests and hobbies, the relationship might lack excitement, and they could feel bored with the lack of diverse interests in the relationship. It’s nice to catch up and talk about your day, but if you’re always together doing the same things, there’s no room for that.”
This doesn’t mean you can’t share your personal interests and hobbies with your partner. Including them in something you’re passionate about can be a great way to bond! Bronstein simply suggests that sometimes, both of you should have the space to explore your individual passions.
You’ll Value Your Together Time More
Have you ever experienced that excitement when you haven’t seen your partner all day, and you can’t wait to share everything with them? This is a significant reason why spending some time apart, focusing on your individual selves, is essential. Bronstein explains, “There’s a reason for the saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ Taking breaks from each other is a healthy and encouraged practice. When a couple has the freedom to pursue their own interests, they’ll cherish their time together even more than if they were together every second.”
It Helps You Learn from Each Other
One of the great things about being in a partnership is not just discovering more about the person you love but also understanding why they have their interests. You might even pick up a new skill or develop a new passion through your partner! Additionally, it offers opportunities for deeper intimacy. Bronstein points out, “Learning from each other can strengthen the bond in the relationship. It’s quite heartwarming when one person teaches the other; imagine someone teaching their partner how to golf or play pool. One person guides the other, and it can bring the couple closer.”
How to Find Your Own Hobbies
If you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage and you think you don’t spend enough time on your own hobbies or interests, Bronstein assures us that there are many ways to reconnect with that part of yourself. “If you find it challenging to figure out what interests you, remember that having hobbies and your own interests will improve your relationship; that should motivate you to discover something you enjoy,” she explains.
Don’t be afraid to get creative! Bronstein even suggests that couples think back to activities they loved as children. “You’re never too old to do what makes you happy and makes you feel alive. If you enjoy dancing, start taking dance classes. If you love making jewelry, create some jewelry. Our hobbies ignite creativity, and when we’re creative, we’re happier, and our relationships flourish.”
