When you get engaged and start planning your wedding, it’s an exciting but sometimes challenging period. You might face family conflicts, budget disagreements, and the need for compromise. However, these challenges can also be opportunities to strengthen your relationship and improve your communication as a couple.
According to Jennifer Uhrlass, a licensed marriage and family therapist, various topics like shared values, handling conflicts, managing finances, and dealing with relationships outside of your partnership will come up during wedding planning. Addressing these topics through open dialogue can prepare you for ongoing negotiations in your relationship.
Effective Communication and Compromise
Planning your wedding is a joint effort, and it often involves finding common ground between two different personalities. Some decisions might be easy to make, while others can be more challenging, especially if one partner has strong preferences.
According to Uhrlass, the key is to listen and understand each other’s wishes fully. Take the time to process your partner’s perspective and express your own. This way, you can work together to reach an agreement that both of you are comfortable with.
Uhrlass emphasizes the importance of not rushing through discussions but instead slowing down to ensure you truly grasp your partner’s viewpoint. Sometimes, what you intend to convey may not be what your partner receives, so it’s crucial to ensure mutual understanding before moving forward.
Having Arguments Can Be a Good Thing
It’s normal to have disagreements while planning your wedding, whether it’s about the guest list, music choices, or other details. These arguments can actually be valuable because they teach you how to handle conflicts as a couple. How you address and resolve these issues lays the groundwork for managing future disagreements in your relationship.
According to Uhrlass, it’s crucial to learn how to deal with conflicts effectively because they will continue to arise throughout your relationship. Today, it might be wedding-related issues like the guest list or cake flavors, but in the future, it could be decisions about your children’s education or how to use your yearly bonus.
Uhrlass suggests that instead of getting bogged down in the specifics of an argument, focus on how you engage with each other during conflicts. Learning how to navigate these disagreements is more important than trying to avoid them altogether. Conflict is a normal and healthy part of any relationship.
Establishing Boundaries with Family
Weddings can sometimes lead to family conflicts, like disagreements with parents about the wedding venue or guest list. These conflicts can potentially create tension between you and your partner. While preparing for your wedding, remember that you’re also building a new family unit with your partner.
According to Uhrlass, this transition from being part of your individual families to forming a new family unit can trigger conflicts and strong emotions. To navigate this transition successfully, it’s important to communicate as a couple, understand each other’s family backgrounds, and prioritize your relationship.
During this time, discuss and set boundaries together. Understand each other’s perspectives and weigh the desires of your families against your own as a couple. This way, you can make decisions together and ensure you’re on the same page as a united team.
Discussing Finances
How you handle the finances for your wedding can mirror how you’ll deal with money in the future. This includes creating a budget, deciding if you’ll stick to it, and determining whether you’ll use credit card loans or accept financial support from your parents. It also involves understanding each other’s incomes and spending habits, which can reveal underlying financial conflicts.
Jennifer Uhrlass highlights that money-related issues are a common source of tension in relationships. These discussions can bring up emotions like fear or feelings of inadequacy, especially if there’s a significant income disparity between partners. It’s important to address these issues openly and productively. Avoiding them or leaving them unresolved can lead to more significant problems or unresolved conflicts in the future, potentially causing contempt in the relationship.
Give Each Other Space to Destress
Every major life change, like planning a wedding, can bring significant stress. You and your partner must learn how to manage stress effectively and take care of yourselves during these times. Jennifer Uhrlass emphasizes that self-care is essential in navigating life’s challenges successfully.
When you’re overwhelmed by stress and neglect self-care, it can affect how you handle conflicts and disagreements in your relationship. To manage stress effectively, it’s important to maintain healthy routines, such as regular exercise, adequate sleep, proper nutrition, and spending time with friends.
For example, you can plan wedding-related activities around your partner’s golf schedule, set aside money for weekend getaways, or make sure to keep your usual Friday date night free from wedding talk. Creating these spaces for relaxation and quality time together will help nurture your relationship amid the wedding planning process.
